Worry

I had a few wins today. It was nice, even if late.

I battle anxiety attacks. I literally make myself sick with worry. Brushing my teeth can be an ordeal.

I was sitting in a taxi on my way to meet a day full of appointments, I felt sick. I just wanted to crawl back into my bed, pull the covers over my head and say "get lost" to the world.

My phone rang. I have some good news for you ...

I could have died. All that I had been hoping and praying for realised, and I was still nauseous. Worry is a fruitless pass time. I haven't figured out how to stop it. Any ideas??

Friends

I am a loner much of the time. My friends are generally of the same disposition. We love catching up and sharing time together, but then we are happy to be on our way and do our own thing. What makes friends special is that they don't mind that you need to go walkabout or take a sabbatical. They get it. They can hear not a breath from you in 6-12 months and then still pick up and carry on where you left off. When I am going through stuff,I tend to internalise it. I like to crawl into my cave so to speak and leave the world to continue without me. This week has been huge for me. Change is happening. Change is good, but it isn't without cost. I am so far out of my comfort zone right now, I was so thrilled to receive a phone call from one of my dear friends I haven't seen for over a year, calling because he felt I needed a hug. I so did. Thank you Juddy.

How to eat

There was a chef I loved once.

He taught me to eat. You may scoff at such a necessity, but he truly did.

My parents had sent me to finishing school to learn how to use a knife, fork and place a napkin on my lap.

My chef taught me to taste; to experience food; to close my eyes and just eat without prejudice.

Many people enjoy some of the finest restaurants, but no matter where they are they always order the steak, or the fish, or the chicken.

There is nothing wrong with your choice. Part of being present in the moment is being willing to try new things, new tastes, new experiences. The discovery of Epicurean delights is a taurian paradise.

I am not suggesting that you become Anthony Bourdain.

But I do recommend that if you are ever in Perth ... drop in at Harvest Restaurant, Freemantle.

I'm getting too old for...

listening to people telling me that they are too old for ...

Note to self: stop referencing your age.

Jesus Floats

A while back I was reading this post from eicolab about Matt Siber's work. I was most amused by the Jesus sign from his 'floating logos' project.

I wish I had the luxury you do ...

I am often chided for having the "luxury of time" that others don't. The luxury of having the mid day snooze, the luxury of
having grocery shopping time, the luxury ... of well, everything that REAL working folks don't have.

I am afforded the luxuries of freelancing ... because I DON'T GET PAID each and every week. Get over it. You get to go to the hardware store on weekends and fantasise about your renovation. I get to count my twenty cent pieces and prepare them for banking on Monday.

The myth of freelancing is that it is fun. IT IS FUN. When you get paid.

Truth or Dare

Telling the truth is sometimes the hardest thing that we ever have to ask ourselves to do. Whether we are sharing with another or we are listening to our own self-talk.

Being disillusioned, stuck, lifeless, depressed and even just bored these are valid states of mind we experience. They are real. But they don't need to stick around. If you are going through a bad time just keep on moving, don't camp, don't buy real estate in the place you are ... you will come out the other side if you keep moving.

Take note of your self-talk and keep it in check.

You will realise the reality you imagine. Imagine good things for yourself. Love yourself. You can't expect anyone else to love you unless you love yourself first. I dare you.

Preacher's Magic Trick

Sometimes you just need a little help ...

This Ghanaian preacher thought he needed a whole lot of help and bought his higher power from the logal magic store.

You can read the whole story here:

Like Father Like Daughter ::: Like Daughter Like Father

Spending some time with my family over school holidays ... the blog bug bites. My Father has started his own prodigal journey in blog form.

Whilst educating my parents in technology is often weary, getting them started with blogging was so simple it was enjoyable for all of us.

School Holiday Heaven

It is school holidays and I am spending time with my daughter at my parent's farm. My grandmother was most amused by my daughter stating "GG, I am here to make you happy before you go to heaven!". In that moment, I nearly went to heaven ... I could have died from laughter.

Friendship

When every day ends in a why? What makes the difference between giving up and going on? For me it is those friends that promise nothing and therefore always exceed expectations. The room given to friends allows them to be close enough to give love and encouragement, and far enough away that control dynamics are minimized and objectivity can be introduced and respected rather than being seen as criticism.

I love my girls!

When is a private investigator not a very good one?

... when he gets sprung.

Ooops!!

The only kind of pet I should have ...

I have often said that I am not good with anything that breathes ... including plant matter. A girlfriend of mine sent me this little kitty and it is very therapeutic without getting cat hair all over me. Brilliant!